Liverpool - Newcastle

Fair enough we arent much (if at all) better, though just seen this that made me laugh

Blaydon Races

They all went down to Anfield
Twas on the 3rd of May
Hoping God would smile on them
Upon the Sabbath day
Proud as punch in stripey shirts
Cream of the Geordie nation
Ganning along to Liverpool
To see the relegation

Chorus:
Oh me lads, you should've seen them crying
Watching the shambles on the pitch
Premier dreams a'dying
All the lads and lasses there
All had gloomy faces
Ganning doon to the Championship
With aal of Shearer's aces

Now way back in September
They told a different tale
Keegan's second coming?
How could the buggers fail?
But then along came Dennis Wise
Who dared to travel norf
Kevin didn't like the tw*t
And quickly buggered orf!

Oh me lads! I think they need a genie
Owen unfit, Xisco's sh*t
and what of Collocini?
Given's a great keeper
but he left the sinking ship
And Harper will be canny good
Doon in the Championship

Now after Keegan scarpered
They all cried in their beer
But fear not, up next they got
Good old Joe Kinnear
He *ing came and *ing got
the *s to play their best
Then who'd a *ing thought it
*ing cardiac arrest

Oh me lads, the bugger’s in the Freeman
Ashley's scared
to watch a game
The fans are all a steamin'
And I will not apologise
for nasty tasteless quips
It'll do the buggers good to be
doon in the championship

With poor Joe confined to bed
For his recuperation
They wondered who could be the man
To save the 'Geordie Nation'
Who could turn this team around
Before they turned to violence?
Hughton got the nod and came out
To the sound of silence

Oh me lads! I'm ganna chuck me seat
The mackems beat us at their place
And now we've had to cheat
Then aal the toon went on the hoy
And got themselves all plastered
And raised a glass to Taylor who’s
A cheating diving b*stard!

Ashley looked around and saw
the damage that they’d done
He’d lost a couple of hundred mill
For every game they’d won
He sank another pint in one
And had a revelation
Mary Poppins is the one
To save the Geordie Nation

Oh me lads! The Toon are aal but dead
Obafemi’s injured (or at least that’s what he said)
Ah can’t believe with Alan boss,
We haven’t got much higher
Or is he just like Keegan
Just another false messiah

Oh me lads! The Toon are in the clarts
No more trips to Anfield
Now it’s off to foreign parts
Tell aal the cheeky mackems
That this story isn’t over
Follow the Toon Army AND……
We’ll watch Doncaster Rovers!

Ha ha... that's quality.