An oath to understanding women Read aloud. Oh yeah - I understand women. I understand that I am to remain subservient. I understand that I am not the true holder of "my" wallet. I understand that, no matter how bad dinner or her new haircut might be, I am to shower her with praises. I understand that "no" means "no" and "yes" means "only if you empty the trash and do the dishes". I understand that anything I buy automatically becomes hers once it is brought into the house. I understand that it really doesn't matter what I think. I understand that I am expected to read her mind. I understand that my eyes are not to look at another woman, EVER!!! I understand that the Weather Channel chick, Shania Twain, the Doritos 3D chick, Mira Sorvino, Sela Ward, and that girl who served us dinner at the restaurant last Saturday are extremely unattractive. I understand that Frazier is NOT a wimpy, simple, inane television show. It is a work of art. I understand that, if the cats want to sleep on the bed, there is plenty of couch space for me. I understand that my taste in films sucks. I understand that I am spending way too much time on these boards. I understand that new shoes are a necessity each month (for her). I understand that no football, hockey or bball game is more important than the fact that she just broke a nail. I understand that all of my friends are useless slobs. I understand that her friends are not bitchy, they are just "stressed". I understand that our house is open to any of her relatives at any given, unannounced time. I understand that there is no time limit on her long-distance telephone conversations. Yes, I understand women.